new song, mostly finished, see the process:

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my first song written for a paid assignment. i’m working with a new organization called Sum Greater Entertainment. we put on concerts in Hillsboro, just outside of Portland, Oregon. part of the proceeds go to a charity, and this song is for that charity.

 

i actually touched up the audio a bit, and added some backing instruments, but when i uploaded the .mov file to youtube it had, very oddly, stripped it of all the edits to the audio. i uploaded the file 3 times, and each time it uploaded quickly but didn’t have the edited audio. very strange. if i listen to the same file, from my desktop, it has the bass and drums. anyone know what is up with that?

i thought about writing this song for about 2 months, and i actually wrote it in 1 night. that is often how my creativity works. i picked at the idea of writing a song on such-and-such a topic and imagined how the tone of such a song should feel, for weeks, only thinking about it once every few days. 1 month in, after i had mulled a bit, i had the idea of using a riff and melody that i’d made up without the charity in mind at all, and then after a few more weeks of mulling i realized that i’d stopped imagining using any other tunes. at some point, without really realizing it, i had decided on this melody.

then, at around 2 am a few nights ago, i picked up the guitar. i didn’t think very hard or long about what i was going to write, in the same way that a boxer might study theory before the fight so that it becomes second nature and instinctive, during. once i had a mood and a free moment and the opportunity to play without anyone bothering me, i just slipped into it. i wrote the lyrics in about an hour. here is the first draft:

lend a hand in spring get one to lead you in the autumn

plant a seed and turn your back and it grows

i’ll teach you how to walk for an iou

then you can help me cross the road

spend a bit of time on it, take interest in the spinning

in the cycle as it comes back around

the best part about falling down

is getting back in touch with the ground

i don’t owe you nothing

and you don’t know me

something tells me

we’ve got more in common than not

we both know the bottom like a second home

on second thought

i guess i’d like to give it a shot

if “we’re” all “us” then we’ll always get to the top

if you shiver in the winter come inside or give the winner

nasty looks for playing king of the hill

applaud the upstart sneaking up to reign ’till they catch a chill

right now we are still designing our website, but i’ll post the relevant links we have so far:

Sum Greater’s facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/QuintonAOConnor/?fref=ts

my first blog post about our show at Clark’s:
https://mybrokenid.wordpress.com/2016/11/08/sum-greater-entertainment/

buy my music:
https://themanwhofellinbuffalo.bandcamp.com/

sonnet about anxiety

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face it, stare it down, and watch it flee,

and chase it, hasten, trace the path it takes.

follow it to see what can be gleaned

from trail prints left behind its fearsome wake.

and feel the fear, accept it, let it in,

and glory in illuminating signs

that form a figure, set a tale to spin

around a core of intersecting lines.

it cannot hurt you, what you embrace deep

and close to heart against a beating breast

the deconstruction of a heartless creep-

-ing dread taunts from afar but comes to rest

the moment that you call it by your name

and dare to let it turn and do the same.

jointsmokingaman

 

the next step to being a professional

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Screen shot 2014-11-23 at 6.15.36 PM

i finally bought a domain name, got hosting, and am working on organizing my art portfolio and blogs and all this crazy social media. when i see that the site looks pretty okay it makes it worth it.

desire from a pervert, and drawing from a dad

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desire from a pervert, and drawing from a dad

i am re-watching the perverts guide to ideology. here is a quote:

A desire is never simply the desire for a certain thing. It’s always also a desire for desire itself; a desire to continue to desire. Perhaps the ultimate quarrel of a desire is to be fully filled in, met so that I desire no longer. The ultimate melancholic experience is the experience of the loss of desire itself.

i thought about that, for a bit. then i found this drawing by john (don?) kenn. you can click on it for a link to his blog with more pictures. i desire to draw like him. we have similar styles, as it is, so if i tried i could continue to draw pictures that resembled his to a greater and greater extent. those pictures, inspired by my desire, would incrementally decrease in their value as individualistic art as i approached perfect duplication. perfect duplication, with none of the value of being the original creator of the image, would result in a sort of value as a xerox machine, or a craftsmen, that has no relationship to what i valued, and desired, in the original drawings.

bed eek rock her

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bed eek rock her

betty crocker cake mixes did not sell well when they were first released, even though focus groups – still a new idea – were full of women who said they would be open to the idea of saving time when baking their daily butter-caramel-bacon-grease cakes. betty asked one of the social science experts that had popped up after freud released his books in america. he told her to add instructions on the box telling the pearl-necklaced honey to include a superfluous egg. he said that 1. having a few simple steps would alleviate medically-methed-housewife-guilt about being lazy and taking shortcuts and 2. would symbolize sacrificing their own eggs for their chain-smoking WWII vets. sales sailed through the glass ceiling.

if you click on this picture it will take you to an amazon page where you can buy my novel. just imagine eggs, or something.

more cover art

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i just got twenty bucks from my first months of sales. that is half a tank of gas that i never would have got if i had not written a novel! hurrah!

napoleon_dynamite is great

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if two or three of the right critics had not made a big deal about napoleon dynamite when it showed at sundance, then it would not have caught on and made a lot of money, and then i would watch it with a radically different viewpoint. even as it is, i love the wesandersontimburton-type framed shots and claustrophobic qualities of stylization; i adore the characters and their attempts at being grown up or becoming a child again; the graphic design for the cover and soundtrack, and the extremely keen sense of americana, etc. soooo soo many people have told me that they don’t like the movie because “it has no point,” or “a stupid story.” if you stop thinking of it as a comedy and allow yourself to imagine that it is art then you see wildly original characters playing on major social tropes in a lavish, impasto mural of middle class midwest culture. Napoleon Dynamite has more in common with shirley jackson and steinbeck than it does with carrot top or comedy central.